Miracles

Sometimes while waiting for your miracle, it can begin to feel like miracles don’t really happen. Sometimes, when tragedy strikes, it can feel like this world we live in is only full of tragedy.

I wish I could bottle up the feeling you have when something comes together so beautifully in your life, in such a creative way, that it truly feels miraculous. I would keep this bottle in my bathroom cabinet and open it and sprinkle it on me on days like today. Cover myself with some of that glorious hope.

Today feels like a lot of pain. And not necessarily for me… (don’t get me wrong, I do have some big question marks and miracles waiting to happen in my own life)…but my heart feels the pain for others a lot right now.

Some friends and acquaintances are going through some ROUGH stuff right now. Wow. Yuck. Why?

I just emailed with a friend these words the other day and I am adding them below because they are really a reminder of what I needed to hear:

I read something once about how God orchestrates the trials in our lives to best serve his purpose and what he wants us to learn. He isn’t doing it to punish us. I firmly believe we ALL will have to endure trials. Some of us just get different ones then others, but none of us escape this world not having to walk through trials.

I used to try to pray my trials away. Begging God to spare me and those I loved. Praying for babies, praying for health, praying for abundance in life. I was fearful of anything bad happening so I was always trying to pray things away. But more recently I have changed my prayer, I have started to pray that if my desires are not in God’s will for me, he will change my heart and give me the strength to endure. To give me joy and happiness in whatever it is he planned for me that was not something I wanted for myself. 

Maybe you are reading this and thinking, “Geez, why does Megan have to be so dramatic all the time.” 🙂

I hear you. Maybe you have been coasting along in life for awhile now without anything really bad shaking things up. Which is great! But it’s coming — something big is coming and it will knock you to your knees for sure. Maybe it will be a cancer diagnosis, or death of a family member, or loss of a marriage, but it will come.

It’s funny, I started writing this blog thinking it was going to be about looking back at all the miracles in our lives that have happened that we lost sight of. A reminder and encouragement of all the good that HAS happened and WILL CONTINUE to happen. A rah-rah-rah for 2018. But it kind of feels like I shouldn’t go there right now. Not that I don’t believe that good will prevail, (because it will), but because sometimes it’s okay to just sit there and FEEL the pain. Don’t dismiss it, don’t run from it, just sit with it.

I have a friend that had a long string of bad luck in the dating world in Los Angeles and  she was one of those girls that always dreamed of the husband and babies. I had a strong sense that she was going to meet her man and it would all turn out okay in the end, but as the years ticked by she began to grow more and more depressed about it. She finally snapped at me one day and said, “You know, you keep saying each year will be my year, but these years keep coming and going and they are NOT my year.” At first I was kind of put-out that she snapped at me for just trying to be encouraging, but I have come to be really thankful for it because it taught me such an important lesson.

Sometimes, we just need to digest the pain and not keep smoothing it out and glossing it over. It’s okay to let it be what it is.

So today I just sit with my friends and loved ones in their pain, and will let it be what it will be. Not having the answers, not knowing the why, but still hoping for the miracle.